In a sea full of bad sexting lines, everyone wants to stand out as the lone clever sexter. Saying a version of “that’s hot” or “I wish I were with you right now” doesn’t have to be the fate of your sexting experiences. Yes, it’s possible to avoid the trap of repetition. Knowing how to respond in a validating yet honest way to someone who is sexting you is an art, not a science. But luckily, there are some tricks to help you have a way with words, even if you are new to sexting. Use the tips below to craft sexting lines that will almost certainly get her attention.
1. Get Consent First
The very first thing you should do when sexting is to get consent. It doesn’t have to be as formal as it sounds, fortunately. If you feel like the conversation is headed in a mutually flirtatious direction, bring up taking things a bit further before sending the nude. Sometimes understanding context can be tricky, so asking first is always the best option.
When getting consent, it’s important to give it some thought while not overthinking it. You could say something along the lines of “I’ve got some pictures (or ideas or fantasies as the case may be) I’d love to share with you—but they’re not exactly appropriate for work. Are you game?” If they say no, then at least you’ve behaved in a way that neither of you will regret.
2. Say Something Surprising
If you have a few tried-and-true lines, put a new spin on them. It’s easy to identify people who are interested in a mutually satisfying sexting encounter versus someone who is trying outlines to see if any will work. Creativity is key during sexting.
Instead of saying, “what are you wearing?” you could say something else entirely, like “I want to undress you with my teeth.” After all, what your partner is wearing is a lot less interesting than what is underneath.
Instead of the eggplant sex toys emoji, you could tell them that they are all you can think about at the moment. Or, send a song that conveys a similar message about how much you want them.
Rather than saying, “I’m going to make you come so hard,” try something a little more subtle. Talk about what you like doing—and why. Describe the smells, sounds, tastes, and tactile sensations that you feel to give them a clearer picture of what’s going on in your fantasy.
Swap out the tired “u up?” for something a little less overused. You could be a bit less conventional and more direct by saying, “My place; bring handcuffs.” Insert whatever kink you and your partner are interested in for a more personal vibe.
3. Make a Joke
Nothing eases tension like humor. And when you make a joke, it can create a sexual tone, too. Why not say something flirty and funny at the same time, such as, “You’re so sexy, even my zipper fell for you.” Or, you could start with a silly poem. Some versions of “roses are red; violets are blue; I wish that I was going down on you” might be fun. Take the other person’s sense of humor into account, though. If they don’t get it, it could spoil the mood.
4. Tease a Little
The best way to have a hot sexting experience is to not race through it. If you stay at the finish line too long, you’re going to run out of attention-grabbing things to say before you know it. It’s the same reason we pay to see people take clothes off at a bar rather than pay them to show up on stage already naked. Anticipation is a good thing. Slow things down by telling your partner “not yet.” Making them wait for a little makes the payoff all the sweeter.
5. Say Something Genuine
Culturally, we’re hyper-focused on being cool when, in reality, being genuine is a better way to go. If you can stop trying to be detached, you can create a real (if temporary) connection, which is the key to hot sexting. You don’t have to be sexting with your soulmate to benefit from a sense of connection. Even when you sext with someone completely random online, establishing some good vibes and getting on the same page is going to make the sexting hotter.
Telling someone what it is about them that gets you going helps them continue to turn you on, so being genuine is a win-win. Plus, compliments go a long way toward helping someone feel at ease with you. And the more comfortable someone is with you, the easier it is for them to feel open to doing something wild. Being genuine is perhaps the single best thing you can do to improve your sexting.
6. Be Clear
The words you choose can be taken in many different ways. So, if you say, “wow,” that can sound like a good or a bad thing. Try to double-check that you are communicating precisely what you want because misunderstandings can indeed make it awkward. The more descriptive words you can use, the more your message will resonate with its intended audience. “I love the way the light is hitting your hair right now,” or “your arched back is driving me crazy—in a good way” is a major step up from “ur so hot.”
7. Tell Them Exactly What You Want
If your partner is game, it can be fun to take turns being in charge. Tell them what you want them to wear or do, and then be open when they do the same. That way, you’re both getting what you want at the same time. Playing around with power roles can also open the doorway to kinkier sexting exchanges down the road.
To conclude, you don’t have to be in a relationship to have a great time sexting. You can always find someone to sext online or on chat applications that can protect your privacy too.