If you think about it, for some things in life, there is never a good time – like discovering a family member is sick, having to say goodbye to your beloved pet, or getting a divorce. However, when you know that there is something wrong with your marriage, it is only natural that you have started thinking about divorcing your spouse.
But, if you are in this situation, deciding to get separated from your partner is one of the things that will take time and a lot of consideration. This is why you might find this article helpful. The list below will feature some of the questions you should ask yourself before filing for divorce. Keep in mind that this article is not gender-biased, hence, both men and women can find it useful. Let’s take a look at the list of questions:
Is Your Spouse Physically or Psychologically Abusive to You or Your Kids?
If your answer to this question is “yes” in both situations, you already know what you should do. For instance, if your partner comes from an abusive family, that might be what is making him/her think that abuse is a normal thing, but, just because he/she grew up in such an environment does not mean that they can continue it when they are adults.
So, if you tried going to a counseling session or if your partner continues being abusive to you and your kids, and if there is a clear indication that he/she sees it as something normal, you might want to consider leaving. This is especially true if it is impacting your children drastically.
2. Does Her or His Habits Put Your Family In Risky Situations?
Addiction, gang membership, violent and abusive behavior, as well as gambling problems can put your family at risk. As with all other warning signs, you might want to seek professional help or counseling first, However, the sad truth is that you should think about removing yourself and your kids from this situation, especially if you do not want to be in risky or dangerous situations.
But, in these situations, you might be worried about what can come out of the divorce and that is why you might want to consider a mediator. A mediator will help you with the negotiation process until the two parties reach an agreement that works for them both. If you want to see what a mediator can help you with, click here.
3. Is Your Partner Cheating on You Regularly?
People who do not have children might find it easy to leave their partner if he/she is cheating on them constantly. However, other people find it difficult – not because of themselves, but their children. Although you might think that you should stay with a cheating spouse because of your kids, if infidelity becomes common, it might be a good time for you to file for divorce.
Staying in this situation will only create additional problems such as arguments, and although your kids might not know what you are arguing about, it will definitely leave a mark on them. Hence, even though you might want to stay married because of them, there might be other things that are hurting them.
4. Is He or She Constantly Lying About Important Things?
If you find out that your spouse is deciding on some important family matter without you, if he/she is hiding crucial information, or if they are lying about extremely important things – such as losing a job, having money or health problems – it can seriously hurt both your children and you.
This can lead to further complications such as you not trusting them or anything they say. As you know, relationships are built on love, respect, and trust – and when someone’s trust is broken, it can be difficult to fix things between you two. If your trust is being broken time and time again, you will need to consider filing for separation.
5. Do You Have Different Life Paths And Wishes?
Now, this situation can get a bit tricky. When two people marry each other, they usually or sometimes do not have the same life goals or general goals, however, they also manage to make a compromise, one that will hopefully allow for both of your wishes to come true.
But, sometimes, your lives can end up on opposite sides, with no desires to support each other. Suddenly, you will find yourself in a situation in which your partner no longer wants kids after three years of marriage. This is when you should focus on yourself. You do not want to miss out on an opportunity to be a mother or father, especially if it is something that you have always wanted. Divorcing can help you work on your life goals, desires, and wishes.
Bonus Tip – Never Worry About What Your Family Members or Friends Will Think
Always remember that you and your children deserve to be happy – and that is why you should follow your gut. Some people consider getting a divorce a failure, or worse, an embarrassment. However, if you have really tried everything from tolerating more things to nurselings, and nothing works, you should move on with your life.
You should also remember that the people who truly care about your wellbeing, they will support whatever decision you make, despite what they might think about it or what they would do in this situation. Trust me, you do not want to stay in an unhappy marriage just because you are concerned about what other people in your life might think of it.
There is a wide range of reasons why couples choose to get a divorce. At times, the problems can be solved, but, at other times, the best decision is to her a divorce. The one thing you should remember though is to try and have a civilized divorce – and if not because of you, then because of the children you have together.
So there you have. These are the questions you should ask yourself before choosing to file for a divorce. So, now that you know what you should consider, do not waste any more time, go back to the first point of this article, and start thinking long and hard about the decision you should be making.